To Mend, Or Not to Mend?.... That is the Question!

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with someone who is, in truth, great... but you feel like something is definitely missing, or causing you to change?  It could be a friend, a boyfriend, or a superior, but it doesn't matter... cause weird stuff happens, and people change.  


Whether or not you have ever faced this predicament, you are bound to face it more than once in your life.  So here are my suggestions to you:)


1) Be aware of your surroundings, and know the people who are in your life WELL!  By doing this, you will not only be able to possibly serve them greater, as a friend/supporter, but you will also be able to pick up on potentially dangerous changes early.  This is, to me, one of THE MOST IMPORTANT KEYS to coming out of these types of relationships safely.  Sadly, I had to learn that the hard way, but will definitely know better next time.  Know your friends, their beliefs, their standards, their choices, and their families.  We become who they are, just by spending time with them, so make sure that's something you are ok with representing.


2) When this situation pops up among friends.... Although we may be hesitant about distancing ourselves from a group of people who have become our "crowd", if something in your heart tells you to get out, don't wait around to find out why!  The longer you stay with these people, the more you become apathetic to their choices!  If what they are doing is not something you started out believing in, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, or you question its purpose, THEN DON'T DO IT!  Sometimes, we have to realize that, by hanging out with these people, we are telling the world, "I'm ok with this."  If you are not ok with this, then voice your feelings to your friends... and if that doesn't work, then GET OUT, cause they were never your friends in the first place.  Now, you've got to know that the OBVIOUS won't always be obvious.  For example, growing up, and throughout my middle school life, I had a LOT of friends, and mixed with many cliques.  All of these kids were just like me, for the most part.  Usually Christian, involved in youth group, sports, or school activities.  They didn't have tattoos all over their bodies, they didn't breathe fire, or smoke pot, and they definitely didn't cuss.  I thought I had finally found a safe crowd, but then came.... High School!  All of a sudden you weren't allowed to talk to 'certain people', let alone, make EYE CONTACT!  My girl friends started dressing... different... with lots of midriffs, cleavage, and bootie shorts, and my guy friends stopped seeing me as a friend, and more, as an object.  No longer was it cool for me to shoot hoops, or talk, because to them, I now had ulterior motives!  Psh!  Now, to even have a shot at sitting at their table at youth, I felt like I had to be ok with their choices/behavior... and I wasn't.  So what was I supposed to do?  Lose ALL of my friends? .... Let me ask you this.  From my story above, were any of them really my friends in the first place?  A friend isn't a number on Facebook; a person you accept, cause he's friends with your friend's bf!  A friend is someone who knows who they are, who you are, and builds from there.  Someone who is just as much there for you, as you are for them.  Who's supportive, and helps you stick to your dreams.... Were any of those people that for me?  No.  So why hang onto them?  You gotta let 'em go.


3) When you start to question the situation developing with one of your "just friends"... Here's another really tough genre of friendly that is tough to let go of!  As girls, especially for those who don't have strong father figures in the home, we tend to thirst for someone to fill that male role in our lives.  If we don't find it at home, we look for it in friends... but the truth is, no guy-girl friendship can last as "just friends" if the girl's intention is to use the guy as filler, and the guy's intention is to use the girl as arm candy, or practice!  Sadly, and many will admit to this, this is what happens in oh too many g/g friendships!  We were wired to want to be by a guy's side, to want to fill his head with support/encouragement, and to be needed by the dude... but all of that was put in us for the purpose of marriage!  No wonder people used to marry their kids off at twelve/thirteen!  Those hormones kick in, and you better get a ring on that girl's finger, before she goes running off with the shepherd!  Lol!!  Sadly, in our society today, since it's "okay" to have sex before marriage... marriage, itself, is no longer as sacred and special.  It's like, "oh, so we've been living together for three years now, sleeping together for five, I guess we should just go ahead and do this thing, for real."  What about any of that is even left to be "real"?  Our generations are withering in our beliefs, our standards, our faith, and our self respect.  What people don't realize, is that those habits start at a young age, in the home, and in your friendships.  Most kids base their faith, standards, and future goals, off of what they see in their parents, or learn from them.  However,  have you ever taken a step back to look at your g/g friendships?  Do you see some habits being put to practice there?  Maybe some flirting?  Some hair twirling?  Some selling yourself short?  You have a choice in all of this.  They may not know about self worthy actions, but you can lead by example, and cut your ties if it doesn't rub off.   This time in our lives should be used for discovering ourselves, not wasting our time making moony eyes at a boy who is going to be someone else's husband someday!  Just be careful, ladies.


4) Woolf among the sheep:  Finally, beware of those good 'Christian' boys who are genius enough to realize that the church is the best place to pick up 'good girls'.  I've seen this happen oh too many times.  Where the boy puts on some spiritual act, to get an, "Awwww!", from the ladies, or incessant hugging/hand holding.  We almost set ourselves up for it, when we go around acting like our man's gotta be Mr. Darcy, but hey, we live and we learn.  The truth is, no guy should be Mr. Darcy, because he is a fictional character, created by a WOMAN!  All his die hard traits are WOMANLY traits, because truthfully, men were not made to be OUR helpers, we were made to be THEIRS!  So don't work yourself up, and fall in love with a woman, dressed as a tall, dark haired, brooding, lover boy... but appreciate today's real man, for what he is.  They are looking for our approval, so we need to stop messing with their minds, and treating them as objects for our use, and start treating them like brothers in Christ, who need to be guided, and supported, in this tough/tempting time in their lives.  You have a chance to truly be a friend to a guy, for the right reasons.  Help prepare his heart for life after high school, cause this mini-kingdom won't last forever.  When you are interacting with someone, ask yourself, "Is this something his wife will thank me for, someday?"  


Be careful out there ladies!


Clay

My Hope for Your New Year :)

At some point you have to realize the people in your life who do matter; who would be there for you in a split second, and who live by a two-way friendship lane, and not one... & the people who will probably disappear from your life, the second they don't need your friendly, one-way friendship lane services anymore. This 2012, treasure those two-way friends/family like priceless jewels. Have a blessed year! :)

When No One Wants to Hear You...

As a teen, or young person in general, you probably know that many people factor our age into our ability to think, feel, and XPRESS ourselves.  My message to you today is this: If you are being persecuted for your age, if you are being demeaned, and not taken seriously, but you KNOW you have a stand, or opinion, on something... XPRESS yourself!  Don't be afraid to use your voice, to speak out, to be different, to rebel, and to take risks!!  If you have already done this, then I say "TAKE IT TO THE MOST HIGH IN HEAVEN!  SHOUT IT FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR HEART!  CALL OUT TO HIM TO BE YOUR VOICE, TO GIVE YOU VOLUME, AND TO CHANGE HEARTS THAT NEED CHANGING!"


Today I ask you to pray for our legal system, our courts, our leaders, and children who are suffering around our great nation due to the apathy, and liberal views, of those in authority.  I ask you to pray that God give these children, and all involved with their cases, a VOICE, and strength to make it through.  I also ask that you pray that He soften the hard hearts of many of our judges, and that He open the minds (and not the pocket books) of those working in representation of these children.  Also, that He reward those who's hearts are truly in this for the safety of our nation's next generation.


If you are a young person, who's life is currently in the hands of an adult who does not have your best interest in mind, PLEASE reach out to your friends, or your local pastor (or youth director), and ask them to become your voice.  I know that, for some of you, there may be no way out, but you are strong, and you are loved by your Heavenly Father, and by people like me, who know what you have(are) been going through.  DON'T lose hope!  You will become great for His name someday. :)  God bless you, precious child of God.


God bless you.

Growing-Up??

Just realized something... When people say they've stopped 'believing' in something, or 'dreaming' for something, because they've 'grown-up', it's not actually because they've 'grown-up'... it's because they took a leap, with all their heart, failed, and never want to be hurt like that again.... Growing-up isn't always getting older, it's realizing that you really aren't invincible.  Is this a reason to give up on all those crazy-mad dreams??... I-DON'T-THINK-SO! Keep dreaming, y'all!  You are guaranteed to fail at least two thousand times between now and your last breath, but don't let that stop you from living a hopeful life! :)

And in these Trials... We are Not Alone

I had the opportunity to speak at my local community's Christian youth group gathering, Boerne Live, and once again, I am in awe of Him.  As of this morning, I was not planning on attending the concert benefit, and then, around 12pm, I received an email from my youth director, wondering if I would consider sharing my testimony at the benefit.  It was like God calling me out to this place tonight, and finding a way to get me there.  You see, no matter what we think we decide, if we stray from the path, God will find a way to call us back.  Being able to get up there, and look across rows, and rows of high school teens like me, was beyond special... it was AWESOME!  They were alive with HIM tonight!  Alive with His LOVE, and alive with His innocent BEAUTY!  It makes you feel like you are not in this alone, and that you do belong somewhere... with the people of God. :)


If you are out there tonight, wondering if you are the last man standing... I challenge you to go out and LIVE LIFE with risks of failure, risks of frustration, risks of rejection, and risks of success!  If you live your life, hidden away, how can God's awesomeness ever shine?  You are His light, His torch, His clay!  Let the Potter mold you, by loosening up, and giving yourself to Him.  There will you find peace in this Storm. :)  May God bless you, hold you, hug you, love you, and guide you... wherever you are tonight. :)


Peace-Love-Christ


Clay

"Mr. Right"

Q- If you waste your whole life waiting for the guy you think is “Mr. Right” to ask you out, yet all the while totally deny yourself the chance to possibly find happiness with a guy who is not what you ever imagined you would grow to like as more than a friend, is that subjecting yourself to a life alone?  One, who seems to be “Mr. Right” only looks the part.  The other, “Mr. Idk”, loves you for you, has told you so, and continues to try to be ‘something’ for you. He doesn’t seem to fit the image you imagined of the guy you are meant to be with someday, but what if that imaginary guy is also unrealistic?  One who loved you at your worst, or the other, who left before you got to the worst?  Is going for "Mr. Idk" settling?  Or finally realizing what is important in life/love? 

I keep telling myself, “This dude better be amazing if you give your heart/life to him... He better appreciate all you are, and be totally deserving of that.”... But what if he does appreciate me, and I’ve just been to “Goody Two Shoes” to appreciate him, for all that he is?  What if the perfect guy is actually disguised as someone the world tells us to not get involved with, for a reason.  Just like me.  The person that finally recognizes me as something special, should be something special, because God gave him eyes to see the beauty in who I am.  The world tells me that, by dating ‘that guy’, I’m cutting myself short, or settling... but the world’s way isn’t always the right way.  What if the guy I’m meant to be isn’t Prince Charming, but instead, Prince Integrity?  I just SO want to do things right, and I’m scared to do anything, because it could lead to failure.  As a young Christian woman, I believe I owe it to myself, and to God, to focus less on the later, and more on the now.  Why worry about something that is not meant for me in this moment?  When I could be concentrating on what is!  

As far as love, and "Mr. Right" goes, I can only pray that God give me the the insight to see him for all that he is, and the grace to appreciate him, the way I want him to appreciate me. :)

Peace-Love-Christ,

Clay

True Friendship!

A friend of mine sent this verse to me a couple of days ago, & I would like to share it with you all as well.  At the time, I was contemplating my friendships with different peers.  When it comes to friendship or commitment, I am cautious and careful.  I don't want to let myself slip into a friendship that may not be good for me.  Both sides deserve the best, so I have this thing about rushing into any type of relationships.  The true friend, or spouse, that is meant for me someday will have that same strategy.  She/he will not be turned off or discouraged by my cautiousness, but instead, treasure the fact that I am keeping the two of us in mind when I take things slow.  Ever jump into a friendship & find out later you should of looked into the person you were hanging out with before the 'big jump'??  Me too!  However, we are all learning and there is never a too late... at least... not in God's book! ;) Peace, <3, Watchful

Sirach 6:5-17

⁵ Pleasant speech multiplies friends,
   and a gracious tongue multiplies courtesies.
⁶ Let those who are friendly with you be many,
   but let your advisers be one in a thousand.
⁷ When you gain friends, gain them through testing,
   and do not trust them hastily.
⁸ For there are friends who are such when it suits them,
   but they will not stand by you in time of trouble.
⁹ And there are friends who change into enemies,
   and tell of the quarrel to your disgrace.
¹⁰ And there are friends who sit at your table,
   but they will not stand by you in time of trouble.
¹¹ When you are prosperous, they become your second self,
   and lord it over your servants;
¹² but if you are brought low, they turn against you,
   and hide themselves from you.
¹³ Keep away from your enemies,
   and be on guard with your friends. 

¹⁴ Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter:
   whoever finds one has found a treasure.
¹⁵ Faithful friends are beyond price;
   no amount can balance their worth.
¹⁶ Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;
   and those who fear the Lord will find them.
¹⁷ Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright,
   for as they are, so are their neighbours also.