Hey girls!
As many of you know, girls can be vicious, at times. Many are wonderful, as long as you are on their side, and some are genuinely sweet. If you are like me, you may have morphed over to hanging out with 'the guys' more often than, 'the girls'. Lol!! Well, if you have, I feel your pain, and I understand why you might think that, by hanging out with guys, you will get the best of mostly everything! Sadly, I had to learn my lesson the hard way. So here is my article to you, my fellow young women, on how to keep your actions in check for God, your friends, and yourself. :)
For years now, I have been one of 'the guys'... in theory, that is. About 75% of my friends are male, and for a long time, I thought I was living the life. Coming from an area of competitive, backstabbing, girls, I felt that, by hanging out with guys who would never be my competition (and don't seem to be interested in cat fights) I would be 'playing it safe' for myself, and my happiness. There were so many pluses to hanging out with 'the guys'! I could wear sweats/bball shoes, play catch, or a game of three on three, and most importantly, there was NO CHICK DRAMA WHAT-SO-EVER!!! :D For a long time, I thought I was in heaven. Going to the movies with four guys, versus one = SCORE for my ego!!... Having close friends, of the opposite gender, to discuss relationships with = SCORE for my ability to understand guys better... and finally; Being able to feel accepted, and safe, with a group of people I truly felt good with = a boost to my happiness. :) Through it all, a few warning flags went up, whether it be in discussions, or change in attitudes, but I ignored them, hoping to keep what I had going for awhile. Sadly, I finally discovered why male/female friendships can be SO complicated if you're not careful, or you let your guard down.....
Of the four, or five, different times I have tried the whole 'one of the guys' things, my predicament in the end has persisted. Eventually, somewhere along the way, a conversation is going to be hindered by your presence, an activity cancelled because they want to keep it literally just 'the guys', or a friendship will begin to develop into something else... for one of you. Although the first two items on that problem list can make you feel bummed, like you are holding those friends back, the final item can literally ruin your friendship with the whole group. Eventually, either you, or one of your guy 'friends', is going to start seeing someone in a different light... the crush light. :/ When that happens, it's down hill from there, unless you are both on the same page. Sadly, because you joined the group to be a friend, that doesn't always mean you were accepted for that purpose. The reality of it is, girls were never meant to be 'one of the guys'. :( If you are like me, and you hoped that would not be the case for you, hope again, because it does not change based on the person. No matter what, we were created to be attracted to the opposite sex, and if you mix those genders on a 1:5 ratio (or anything where you are outnumbered, and it's not a GROUP of evenly proportioned friends) things WILL end badly. You may have a few weeks of un-awkward down time with 'the guys', but you, as a young woman, are testing yourself, and those around you. Bottom line, guys are great, and they can be amazing friends, but we cannot allow ourselves to enter an outnumbered group of 'friends'. For our sake, and for the sake of those we encounter, we must display choices that follow after our faith. We, as young women of Christ, should never enter a situation that we secretly know will either tempt us, or the people with us. Now, I am not saying that, by entering an 'evenly proportioned' group, things will change. NOT AT ALL!! Ha, ha! Again, we are human, and we were designed to be attracted to the opposite sex, but by entering an evenly proportioned situation, your image as a young woman is not as hampered, your temptation is not as great, and your safety, and ability to blend with everyone, increases with 'non-coupled' events.
As far as girl drama goes, high school does not last forever, and eventually you can get out into a MUCH bigger world, to find some true, humble, Christian, young women to surround yourself with. Until then, devote your time to your church, or community. Find ways to get yourself out of tempting, or dangerous, situations. When you are hurting, or scared, find someone who is feeling even worse than you, and serve them. In this, you will make your Heavenly Father smile, and put your soul to rest. :) Imagine each young man you come in contact with, as someone's husband someday. May your behavior mirror what you would prefer the young women, in your future husband's life, to behave like.
Press on, ladies!
Clay
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