So There's This Guy.... :)

What is love, to you?  Is it a feeling?  Something that you fall into... or grow into?  Is it soft and subtle, or overbearing and clingy?  What is your love language?  Touch, words, gifts...?  How do you begin to know when your 'kiddy crush' is something more?  Do you have to be in a relationship before that 'crush' is allowed to grow into something else?.... What is love?


As Christian young women (or young men... if you're a guy who's reading), we have hopefully already begun to set goal/standards in our life for that future significant other, but where can we truly turn to for advice on love?  "Love Quotes & Sayings" on Facebook can be cute/comforting... but are those quotes really shaping our expectations into something realistic/valuable/pure?  Hopefully you too have learned by now that media is NOT your go-to place for advice on what a pure Christian relationship should be like, but seriously, WHERE can we find a role model for love/relationships??!!  


As a Christian young women, I find myself constantly battling with right/wrong influences/advice.  Asking myself, "Who do I trust?"... "What if they're wrong?"  There's no way to know for sure if your source is true, unless that source is the purest human ever to live, Jesus.  The more I search through the Bible for answers, the more I realize how creative, special, and romantic God, and His great book, are!  Lets look at some examples:


1) Jesus was one of the greatest lovers of all time! Not only did He lay down His life for those He loved(s), but He also loved with NO STRINGS ATTACHED!!  Lol!  There was certainly nothing we could give Him, that He did not already possess, so WHY DIE FOR US??  That's how awesome our God is.  So awesome that He would try to come to earth, and show our poor race how to love purely!  Pretty sweet, if you ask me. :)


2) Ruth was one of the most loyal lovers in the Bible, and she is a great example for young women today.  She submitted to her elders; stayed beside her mother in-law when things got tough; remained faithful to God (even though He wasn't of her 'people'); served for her mother in-law humbly/diligently, so that they could live; and ultimately met the man of her dreams, by remaining faithful to her Lord!  Ruth is an awesome, and faithful, young woman, who should fill thousands of young, Christian women with hope and inspiration.  :)


3) Solomon was another GREAT lover!!  I mean, Songs of Solomon is an ENTIRE book in the Bible based off of his love life!!  How cool is that!!?  For the rest of forever, his love/enchantment/pure desires for his lover will be shared with Christians all over the world!  The two lovers speak of waiting for marriage happily; of temptations that preceded their marriage/nuptials; and their free verse to one another is as if you were a friend (or a servant/maid) in the room, as they dreamily speak of him/her!!  It's like a peek into their diaries!  What an awesome book!!  Did you know the Bible has its own love chapter!?  Now, if only we could wait, as they waited, and hold marriage as sacredly as they did.  


4) The story of Jacob and Rachel is another favorite of mine, and one of the main reasons for that is that this guy works 14 YEARS for this woman!  Tricked after 7 years, and married to the wrong girl, he slaves ANOTHER 7 YEARS for the woman he truly loves. :')  How cute is that!?  How many guys even truly work too hard to impress a girl these days??  It's like we're expected to like them, or "whatev!" Lol!!... For guys it may be, how many girls truly are in it for you, versus their FB relationship status, or social standings?  Do they just expect you to fall for them, work for them, or do they work to remain an equal partner/teammate in your relationship?  Is she waiting for you?...  Jacob has a different take on things.  He lays eyes on Rachel for the first time, and knows in his heart he wants to marry her.  Then, he has to convince Rachel's father to CONSIDER him!  After that, he has to agree to a ridiculous  proposal of working 7 YEARS for a woman he probably has not even been able to hold a private convo with!  In their story, it even says that those years seemed like days, because Jacob loved Rachel SO much!!  How cool is that!?  After the 7 years, Pops pulls a fast one on Jacob, and marries him to Rachel's older sister, Leah!  Seriously??  Rude!  Despite that, Jacob STILL doesn't give up, and agrees to ANOTHER 7 YEARS!!  So 14 years later (and who knows how old this dude is by now) Jacob FINALLY gets to marry the love of his life, Rachel, who's waited for him all those 14 years!  Wow!  Now that's true love! :D


Although the Bible doesn't give you flat out advice on what to do for your current crisis, it does give you plenty Godly examples to live by, strive for, and surround yourself with. :)  So next time there's a new guy (girl) in your life, who has you daydreaming, and running into stuff, go to God with something like this...." So, God, there's this guy (girl)...." ;)  


Peace-Love-Christ,


Clay

"Mr. Right"

Q- If you waste your whole life waiting for the guy you think is “Mr. Right” to ask you out, yet all the while totally deny yourself the chance to possibly find happiness with a guy who is not what you ever imagined you would grow to like as more than a friend, is that subjecting yourself to a life alone?  One, who seems to be “Mr. Right” only looks the part.  The other, “Mr. Idk”, loves you for you, has told you so, and continues to try to be ‘something’ for you. He doesn’t seem to fit the image you imagined of the guy you are meant to be with someday, but what if that imaginary guy is also unrealistic?  One who loved you at your worst, or the other, who left before you got to the worst?  Is going for "Mr. Idk" settling?  Or finally realizing what is important in life/love? 

I keep telling myself, “This dude better be amazing if you give your heart/life to him... He better appreciate all you are, and be totally deserving of that.”... But what if he does appreciate me, and I’ve just been to “Goody Two Shoes” to appreciate him, for all that he is?  What if the perfect guy is actually disguised as someone the world tells us to not get involved with, for a reason.  Just like me.  The person that finally recognizes me as something special, should be something special, because God gave him eyes to see the beauty in who I am.  The world tells me that, by dating ‘that guy’, I’m cutting myself short, or settling... but the world’s way isn’t always the right way.  What if the guy I’m meant to be isn’t Prince Charming, but instead, Prince Integrity?  I just SO want to do things right, and I’m scared to do anything, because it could lead to failure.  As a young Christian woman, I believe I owe it to myself, and to God, to focus less on the later, and more on the now.  Why worry about something that is not meant for me in this moment?  When I could be concentrating on what is!  

As far as love, and "Mr. Right" goes, I can only pray that God give me the the insight to see him for all that he is, and the grace to appreciate him, the way I want him to appreciate me. :)

Peace-Love-Christ,

Clay

Control Freak?

LOL! So, I'm back!  If you are like me, you probably prefer a situation to be predictable, promising, and controlled by... wait for it... you!  Ha, ha!  If so, no worries!  Lately, the challenge of wanting to control EVERYTHING has lingered long and weighed heavily on the doorstep of my heart.  So much of me knows that I am not ultimately in control of what happens, but sometimes, I still find myself trying to make life 'okay' or 'perfect'.  Ha, ha!  What was I thinking?

If you are still following, you probably know that the next step in the average control freak's world is FAILURE!!  Have you ever wondered why?  Maybe God allows us to fail, so that we can grow in the realization that He, and NOT WE, is in control!  We are human, and obviously flawed, so how can anything that we determine to be right by our book, actually be right?  It is when we are listening to our own desires and wants that we fall into the devil's trap, because we are no longer listening to our heavenly Father.  While His lifestyle offers us persecution, trials and challenges, would you not rather that over an easy going life full of sin?  I know that, when I stop to take a breath, I realize that the moments I was challenged in my walk the most, are the moments I treasure the deepest.

So why do we want to control ALL- THE- TIME??  Well, for me, my control issues are representations of my lack of faith and trust in God.  You see, I am a girl who has been hurt (multiple times) and does not want to go back to that feeling of desperation again.  When your heart breaks, and you realize that this human being you put so much trust into is actually a fraud... well, your heart breaks.  I think I may have gotten tired of feeling my heart break, so I just decided to control everything.  No relationships, no depending on anyone else, no risks... just me.  When I took that leap, there was no going back.  Suddenly, everything I did... I did.  Sure, God was there beside me the whole time, but I did not acknowledge Him.  This mindset of, "I can do anything you can do better", came into play.  Although my few successes were all God, it was not until about two years later that I realized it.  Everything I tried to control, tried to force, and even tried to create, just fell through.  Something was there to catch me when I fell... but what?  All my heartaches had occurred because I was putting faith in a human or materialistic object, and not in the everlasting Father figure of Christ.

That's what I love most about our heavenly Father.  He is the greatest being, yet He is the quietest.  With Him, it is not about boasting, flaunting or teasing... everything is simple, silent and sweet.  Acts of love, true love.  Love is not boastful, it does not flaunt or taunt... and when you think about it, that is God through and through.  Silently loving and protecting us all.  Never asking for acknowledgement or thank you's, just there for you when you need Him most.

So, to all my fellow control freaks... "Let go, and let God".  Life will happen, and with life, pain and suffering... but what of the joys?  Are we to cherish them or cast them aside?  In the midst of your pain, when you just want to rely on yourself, imagine the outcome if you did... tell yourself, "Only He is big enough for this," and them give it all up to God.  He is silent, but He is loving and protecting.  When you are at your low, it is He that keeps your feet from dragging.  Depend on Him, not on you.  It's time to kiss those control freak days goodbye and become a Jesus Freak!!

Peace-Love-Christ,

Clay

Target Practice

Have you ever felt that, the moment you try to do things right, you become this huge target for strife and failure?  Do you know why?  The devil is fine as long as your roots are shallow and you say you're a Christian, but don't really walk the talk.  When you start to grow, spread your roots and think for yourself, he has a problem!  You become bombarded with all sorts of setbacks, failures and discouragements, but what can you do?  Keep pushing on, keep keeping on, and NEVER give up!  Jesus said that 'for the sake of my name you will be persecuted, ridiculed and even killed... but your treasure is in Heaven."  So where does that leave us?  When we're down, discouraged and ready to throw in the towel, remember what Christ said and persevere.  For His sake, you will live forever in paradise.  As hard as that is to wrap your mind around when you are 'in the moment', it is true and encouraging.  I'm facing a few of those speed bumps right now.  I know the devil wants me to cave, and I know that that would be the easy way out, but because of prayer, supportive friends and a plan, I'm trying to fight that fight Jesus talked about.  So much of my materialistic life has been sacrificed for Him... but there's something else that I can't lay my finger on.  You see, although I've given all this up for Him, it feels like I'm still holding on to one last thing... what that is I haven't discovered, but I pray I do soon.  Imagine this... You have the keys of your life in your hand.  You're griping them tight and you don't want to let go.  All of a sudden, this hand, bigger than yours, reaches out and gestures for the keys.  You resist, not wanting to lose control, but the hand persists.  Finally, you dump some keys into its hand, yet the hand remains.  You look down into the palm of your hand and there, to your surprise, lies one last key.  Not all the keys were willingly given to the hand because you felt you still needed to control this one last key... the Father asks that you give ALL of your life's keys to him, but sometimes, we don't.  That's me.  Although I've given so many life keys to Him, there are still a few I'm griping in my hand.  Why I have no idea!  What they are is somewhat a mystery as well, but I pray that He open my heart and eyes to realize what that last key is.  If you're in the same boat, you can pray this as well.  He wants to help, but He is not a forceful Father.  He will always be there, waiting until we're ready to place that last key in His hand. :)  "Let go, let God."

Peace-<3-Let Go

-Clay-