Growing-Up??

Just realized something... When people say they've stopped 'believing' in something, or 'dreaming' for something, because they've 'grown-up', it's not actually because they've 'grown-up'... it's because they took a leap, with all their heart, failed, and never want to be hurt like that again.... Growing-up isn't always getting older, it's realizing that you really aren't invincible.  Is this a reason to give up on all those crazy-mad dreams??... I-DON'T-THINK-SO! Keep dreaming, y'all!  You are guaranteed to fail at least two thousand times between now and your last breath, but don't let that stop you from living a hopeful life! :)

Control Freak?

LOL! So, I'm back!  If you are like me, you probably prefer a situation to be predictable, promising, and controlled by... wait for it... you!  Ha, ha!  If so, no worries!  Lately, the challenge of wanting to control EVERYTHING has lingered long and weighed heavily on the doorstep of my heart.  So much of me knows that I am not ultimately in control of what happens, but sometimes, I still find myself trying to make life 'okay' or 'perfect'.  Ha, ha!  What was I thinking?

If you are still following, you probably know that the next step in the average control freak's world is FAILURE!!  Have you ever wondered why?  Maybe God allows us to fail, so that we can grow in the realization that He, and NOT WE, is in control!  We are human, and obviously flawed, so how can anything that we determine to be right by our book, actually be right?  It is when we are listening to our own desires and wants that we fall into the devil's trap, because we are no longer listening to our heavenly Father.  While His lifestyle offers us persecution, trials and challenges, would you not rather that over an easy going life full of sin?  I know that, when I stop to take a breath, I realize that the moments I was challenged in my walk the most, are the moments I treasure the deepest.

So why do we want to control ALL- THE- TIME??  Well, for me, my control issues are representations of my lack of faith and trust in God.  You see, I am a girl who has been hurt (multiple times) and does not want to go back to that feeling of desperation again.  When your heart breaks, and you realize that this human being you put so much trust into is actually a fraud... well, your heart breaks.  I think I may have gotten tired of feeling my heart break, so I just decided to control everything.  No relationships, no depending on anyone else, no risks... just me.  When I took that leap, there was no going back.  Suddenly, everything I did... I did.  Sure, God was there beside me the whole time, but I did not acknowledge Him.  This mindset of, "I can do anything you can do better", came into play.  Although my few successes were all God, it was not until about two years later that I realized it.  Everything I tried to control, tried to force, and even tried to create, just fell through.  Something was there to catch me when I fell... but what?  All my heartaches had occurred because I was putting faith in a human or materialistic object, and not in the everlasting Father figure of Christ.

That's what I love most about our heavenly Father.  He is the greatest being, yet He is the quietest.  With Him, it is not about boasting, flaunting or teasing... everything is simple, silent and sweet.  Acts of love, true love.  Love is not boastful, it does not flaunt or taunt... and when you think about it, that is God through and through.  Silently loving and protecting us all.  Never asking for acknowledgement or thank you's, just there for you when you need Him most.

So, to all my fellow control freaks... "Let go, and let God".  Life will happen, and with life, pain and suffering... but what of the joys?  Are we to cherish them or cast them aside?  In the midst of your pain, when you just want to rely on yourself, imagine the outcome if you did... tell yourself, "Only He is big enough for this," and them give it all up to God.  He is silent, but He is loving and protecting.  When you are at your low, it is He that keeps your feet from dragging.  Depend on Him, not on you.  It's time to kiss those control freak days goodbye and become a Jesus Freak!!

Peace-Love-Christ,

Clay

Are You Really Single?

     It's been awhile since I've been able to post, but I'll take the time to XPress my feelings after speaking to a youth group this afternoon.
    So much of who we determine ourselves to be is based on status, who we are and what we do, but what of who's we are??  Have we ever stopped to think that that might be what really counts?  It is a pleasure to be able to speak with other kids etc., but the thing I'm most grateful for, is Him using me to speak.  Little of what I say are my words, but even my words are His!  It is so comforting to hear Him speak through me, so funny to hear my own words lecture myself!  Ha, ha!  To think that such a thing is possible!!  The joy I have found in belonging to Him is one I will never be able to XPress!  He is Love, He is Life, He is everything that lasts in eternity!!  No man (or woman) can compete with that!  There's no greater gift than this, "that He lay down His life for a friend".  Christ's life is the greatest XPression of love!  What a gift!  I am so in love with Him!  It's a comfort to know that I am 'taken', that I am 'in a relationship', and that I am 'in love'!  Not in the world's view of love, but I Christ's view of love!  There can be no greater gift than this satisfaction of being loved eternally and unconditionally!
     If you are a teen reading this, know that I'm in the same boat as you are.  Millions of teens all over the world are facing trials and temptations at this moment, but it is how we react to those situations that makes us different.  You can set goals, make a plan, stick to that plan, but keep Him by your side through it all and you will not fail. You will prevail, and we will walk together in His presence in the end.  Love your life, find the joy of your "Now", look to your "Tomorrow" as a gift from God, but look to your "Today" as your gift to God!  You are His beloved... don't forget it!

Peace-Love-Christ,

Clay

Target Practice

Have you ever felt that, the moment you try to do things right, you become this huge target for strife and failure?  Do you know why?  The devil is fine as long as your roots are shallow and you say you're a Christian, but don't really walk the talk.  When you start to grow, spread your roots and think for yourself, he has a problem!  You become bombarded with all sorts of setbacks, failures and discouragements, but what can you do?  Keep pushing on, keep keeping on, and NEVER give up!  Jesus said that 'for the sake of my name you will be persecuted, ridiculed and even killed... but your treasure is in Heaven."  So where does that leave us?  When we're down, discouraged and ready to throw in the towel, remember what Christ said and persevere.  For His sake, you will live forever in paradise.  As hard as that is to wrap your mind around when you are 'in the moment', it is true and encouraging.  I'm facing a few of those speed bumps right now.  I know the devil wants me to cave, and I know that that would be the easy way out, but because of prayer, supportive friends and a plan, I'm trying to fight that fight Jesus talked about.  So much of my materialistic life has been sacrificed for Him... but there's something else that I can't lay my finger on.  You see, although I've given all this up for Him, it feels like I'm still holding on to one last thing... what that is I haven't discovered, but I pray I do soon.  Imagine this... You have the keys of your life in your hand.  You're griping them tight and you don't want to let go.  All of a sudden, this hand, bigger than yours, reaches out and gestures for the keys.  You resist, not wanting to lose control, but the hand persists.  Finally, you dump some keys into its hand, yet the hand remains.  You look down into the palm of your hand and there, to your surprise, lies one last key.  Not all the keys were willingly given to the hand because you felt you still needed to control this one last key... the Father asks that you give ALL of your life's keys to him, but sometimes, we don't.  That's me.  Although I've given so many life keys to Him, there are still a few I'm griping in my hand.  Why I have no idea!  What they are is somewhat a mystery as well, but I pray that He open my heart and eyes to realize what that last key is.  If you're in the same boat, you can pray this as well.  He wants to help, but He is not a forceful Father.  He will always be there, waiting until we're ready to place that last key in His hand. :)  "Let go, let God."

Peace-<3-Let Go

-Clay-

True Friendship!

A friend of mine sent this verse to me a couple of days ago, & I would like to share it with you all as well.  At the time, I was contemplating my friendships with different peers.  When it comes to friendship or commitment, I am cautious and careful.  I don't want to let myself slip into a friendship that may not be good for me.  Both sides deserve the best, so I have this thing about rushing into any type of relationships.  The true friend, or spouse, that is meant for me someday will have that same strategy.  She/he will not be turned off or discouraged by my cautiousness, but instead, treasure the fact that I am keeping the two of us in mind when I take things slow.  Ever jump into a friendship & find out later you should of looked into the person you were hanging out with before the 'big jump'??  Me too!  However, we are all learning and there is never a too late... at least... not in God's book! ;) Peace, <3, Watchful

Sirach 6:5-17

⁵ Pleasant speech multiplies friends,
   and a gracious tongue multiplies courtesies.
⁶ Let those who are friendly with you be many,
   but let your advisers be one in a thousand.
⁷ When you gain friends, gain them through testing,
   and do not trust them hastily.
⁸ For there are friends who are such when it suits them,
   but they will not stand by you in time of trouble.
⁹ And there are friends who change into enemies,
   and tell of the quarrel to your disgrace.
¹⁰ And there are friends who sit at your table,
   but they will not stand by you in time of trouble.
¹¹ When you are prosperous, they become your second self,
   and lord it over your servants;
¹² but if you are brought low, they turn against you,
   and hide themselves from you.
¹³ Keep away from your enemies,
   and be on guard with your friends. 

¹⁴ Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter:
   whoever finds one has found a treasure.
¹⁵ Faithful friends are beyond price;
   no amount can balance their worth.
¹⁶ Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;
   and those who fear the Lord will find them.
¹⁷ Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright,
   for as they are, so are their neighbours also.